kill your darlings
been doing felix cartal for 17 years now. which is wild. someone asked me how long i’d been doing it, and i was equally as shocked to hear it as he was once i worked out the math. some days i feel like i’ve learned a lot, and sometimes i feel like i’ve learned nothing at all. shit’s funny like that. one thing i’ve learned…
the mystery of it all
i’ve always been a bit skeptical of writing a diary about what i’m working on. while i love discussing it verbally with close friends who get the nuance, putting it out there can feel a bit much. i think because in its rawest form, i’m not really sure if what i write one week will even be valid the following week (at least to myself.) but i guess that’s sort of how this business works, you put shit out there, some of it sticks, some of it doesn’t. one thing i do enjoy…
feel less pop up
friday was an absolute sweatbox. a success of a night that is hard to put into words. there’s something about these pop ups that feel alive. it’s addicting, overwhelming, and exciting all at the same time. the prep work of getting the space ready all day was daunting. setting up the speakers, figuring out how to light the place, last minute additions like ordering a custom ‘feel less’ sign, realizing at 5pm u need…
you don’t know your worth
what an amazing day on tuesday. we recorded feel less with a live string quartet at warehouse studios. a beautiful arrangement by todor really brought our song to life in a new way. i’m in this constant teetering state of believing in my records while also thinking they could always be better. i think that’s healthy but…
2069 came early
one of my goals this year is to write more music with people who not only inspire me, but support me. Lights has been exactly that since we met in 2018 at the Junos. we made a song that came out the following year called Love Me, and now, exactly 5 years later, we are doing another one called…
the practice
today is the first day i’m not really sure what to write since i started doing this weekly in may of 2023. i guess that’s a pretty good run. i’m still here though. i’m still writing. what am i going to do… say nothing at all? sometimes there’s something to be found in the nothingness. i made a deal with myself with music that i’d try to get to the studio 5 days a week, even on the days that i don’t feel it. looking back i guess i don’t really remember the days where i ‘didn’t feel it.’ i’m sure some of those…
maybe this will work?
i’m working through a lot of songs for the umpteenth time here. a big focus on just arranging things. arrangement can be really frustrating. i don’t know for sure if everything is right. i don’t know if there even is a right? i did have a breakthrough with a song temporarily titled stay with a breakdown that feels like the whole track dives under water. so i’m happy about that. it’s hard to…
feel the rhythm
today feels like the first monday in awhile that i got my shit together. i woke up early, went for a 5k run in the below zero degree temperature. it was damn cold, but the feeling after… there’s no better feeling. i think it’s important to do things you don’t want to do. things that not everyone does. it keeps the muscle working. the discipline muscle. working for yourself is really just discipline. first you work hard enough to break free of…
the new year
this year be weirder. find your weirdness and cherish it. nurture it. be thankful for it. if you think you’re taking a chance creatively, push it one step further. love harder, even when it’s the bigger thing to do. laugh harder, especially with those you love to laugh with. don’t worry about those on a journey that doesn’t inspire you. it’s not for you and that’s okay. hang out with friends more. support their work and ask them how they’re…
the disconnect
this next batch of songs is slowly coming together, but i’m almost afraid to go through all the demos i’ve written. i know “a day of organization” is necessary at this point, but every time i get to the studio i am tempted with “just one more demo today before I do that.” maybe i’m afraid there isn’t a real star in the mix yet, i’m not quite sure, but i can’t bring myself to…
a love / hate relationship
I suppose that’s why I like music. At its best it’s extremely rewarding. At its worst it exposes all the insecurities I have. Any lack of self-esteem is brought out by a piss-poor day in the studio. Magnified really. “Love what you do and you never have to work a day in your life.” I guess that’s true in a sense, but it conveniently neglects the days that it’s hard. Sometimes I go back and listen to a random song from my catalog and it’ll break me, it’ll all feel…
This Isn’t Live?
“This isn’t live?” a comment in the chat read during the youtube premiere of my skytrain pop-up. It was probably innocuous, but it highlights the fact that you can’t satisfy everyone when doing things. Even free things. Here we are, throwing a free party, and then putting the entire thing on youtube for free to watch, and still someone can be disappointed it’s not live. In these cases I’ve learned…
Free Vinyl and a Train Rave
The premiere for the pop up rave we through on the vancouver skytrain rave is this wednesday, at 7PM PST. If you RSVP right now, you’ll have a chance to win some vinyl. Make sure you tune in because you can’t win if you’re not there! The video is really great. I’m proud of it. My friend Kyle finished the edit after we discussed how it should look and feel, and he did a fantastic job. It really feels like you’re there. Throwing parties and filming them are…
DJ’ing But Make It Comedy
A bit of a delay in the newsletter this week. My apologies! Last Thursday we ended up throwing a pop up in Montreal. A last minute thing. Was all a bit hectic but ultimately came out extremely positive. That’s been consistent with all of the pop ups. The stress organizing these pop-ups is often through the roof, but the payoff really feels worth it. It’s moving the pulse in a way that feels more organic, authentic. I feel more connected with the people attending, I love that. Lately, I’ve also been thinking more about…
Am I Just Gambling?
My tour continues Thursday in one of my favourite cities… Montreal! I hope to see you there. Some tickets are still available. Also I really appreciate all the kind messages about my new song Background Noise. This one felt different. It feels so good to play this one live. Sometimes they just hit right. I played Vegas and Calgary this past weekend. Calgary was sold out. Vegas always makes me thing about gambling…