change your metric

i ran my first marathon last week. my body is feeling somewhat normal again, a bit tired, but mostly mentally drained from it all. my running journey has been on-and-off my whole life, a bit of high school track, random runs mixed in with touring throughout the years in an attempt to stay healthy. i had one half-marathon attempt that got de-railed by the global pandemic in 2020. (the race was canceled and there was an option to run ‘virtually’ but that essentially killed all motivation to complete the thing.) so last year was the year i got somewhat serious and did my first half, and then this year i did my first full.

i like hard things that are optional. they seem like a worthy venture that have multiple trickle-down benefits throughout the rest of your life. there’s nothing like a long run on a rainy day questioning “why the fuck am i doing this?” to give yourself a little humility.

i am competitive by nature (mostly with myself) but i sort of knew that would be a detriment to training for longer runs. i’m the kind of person where if i run one day, if i’m not running faster the next day, i consider that day a failure. logistically i know that thinking is wrong, but innately, thats my gut-reaction. i did some research on different training methods and eventually stumbled upon the MAF method, which was running based on your heart rate, rather than split-time. the metaphor of running this way was not lost on me.

just as pushing too hard during a run can backfire, creating from urgency often compromises quality. obviously listening to your body and maintaining a sustainable pace is key for endurance running. and i think the same principle applies to the creative process - work suffers when you prioritize speed over maintaining the right headspace. rather than fixating on being faster, sometimes slowing down is what propels you further in the long run, whether it's running or creating.

-felix