right on time

my song with tegan and sara is out now. i appreciate everyone who sent me kind messages about it. i was on a run this morning thinking about the concept. what does right on time mean to me? 

i think about time a lot as i get older, how i value it, and how i should prioritize it. patience feels like a lost art in the era of “everyone online.” i feel being online has become a given rather than a choice. i feel like my mind is getting pulled in a lot of directions at once. i find it hard to focus on things that used to be easy for me to focus on. there’s this feeling of fomo while simultaneously not wanting to go out and do things. it’s weird. it’s not even fomo for an event or something like that, i’m past that, it’s a fear of missing out on living my life the way i want to.

when i go for a run or work on music, most of that fades away. even when i’m writing something like this it feels like a pause. it’s weird because i know all that but it can be hard to exit the loop. and then i feel bad when i don’t exit because i know i should. and that’s the endless cycle.

so what does right on time mean to me? maybe it’s having a little more patience for ourselves, and knowing that little steps are actually huge. thinking about time and at least being conscious of it is the first step of getting it back.

not sure how i turned a club banger into an existential crisis about time mismanagement but welcome to my journal and my brain. fucking hell. 😂

-felix